Basically, the pill made me crazy, I was a psycho bitch from hell.

I read one of Hannah Gale’s old blog posts the other day which hit home hard when she explained how the pill made her crazy. I find it really awkward writing about mental health and contraception so this is one huge awkward blog post on my behalf.

Growing up the contraceptive pill was handed to us as teenagers left, right and centre and like most people my age I was given Microgynon 30 (the most popular and coincidentally the cheapest pill).

Obviously, as teens in school we were all given the one-off hour long session of different types of contraception but the pill was always the thing to do, like a coming-of-age thing that had to be done. I started taking Microgynon 30 at the tender age of 14 due to awful period cramps and 7 years later I realised what kind of effects it was having on my body.

Basically, the pill made me crazy, I was a psycho bitch from hell.
I’ve always suffered with pretty bad PMS and warn everyone to stay away from me for that one week of the month but it started to be all month long, I would snap at the littlest things would permantley feel angry, except for the times when I was crying. Usually I’m not an ‘emotional’ person, it would take a lot to affect me but I would cry every time I was on my own for no reason at all, I’d cry at work, in the shower, in my car anytime I was left alone for too long. I know it sound melodramatic but I wasn’t happy with my life at all and had completely no self-esteem.

This isn’t an uncommon topic, before I stopped taking my pill I did some research because deep down I knew it was my pill but wasn’t ready to come off it. I even spoke to a nurse at my local doctors surgery who said ‘we don’t change your pill just because you’re feeling a little bad sad’.

I’m the type of person who likes to keep things to myself regarding how I’m feeling, as a kid I wouldn’t even lie down on a sofa in case people thought I was ill (weird, I know) but at 21 I knew I was depressed but didn’t want to have to open up and tell anyone else, even when I did come out with ‘I feel a bit sad’ it was never enough for anyone to take me seriously because I couldn’t grow enough confidence to tell anyone the extent of how bad I really felt.  A month after the doctors visit came the end of my relationship (partly because I was a moody, emotional mess) so with my mood even lower I googled some natural remedies and found St. John’s Wort was meant to lift your mood but could cause the contraceptive pill to stop working, so right then and there I decided to stop taking it and less than a month later I was happier, had more clarity and was far more patient, I didn’t even try St. John’s Wort in the end.

10 months on and the better mood has stayed, I’m still a far happier person than I was before and look back to this time last year and feel sympathy for my previous self yet ashamed I had too much self-pride to do anything about it before all because I didn’t want people to ‘feel sorry for me’

As it is Mental Health Awareness Week (#MHAW2016) I thought this was the perfect time to share my story and try to encourage people to be less ashamed of their mental health and fight for a different type of contraception, you know your body.

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